gnossos wrote:this could be the start of something brilliant
OK, hear me out. BBQ Party. Forget the Tea Party, Dems, Reps, Libs, etc.
Here's how we play it. We go door to door collecting funds for campaigning and signatures to get on the ballot. All we need is about 5% to be included in televised debates. We show up at their door with some chicken wings or pulled pork and have them sign a consent form freeing us of responsibility if the meat is undercooked. No one reads what they sign - it'll actually be part of the petition to get us into the debates.
So, once we get our gig, the work begins. We're going to need people on the inside. First, we design a smoker that perfectly replicates the podium we would be standing at during the debate. Then, we find a mole to install it just prior to the live televised debate. Preferably with a great ventilation system so we can start the smoking process 10+ hours before the debate and let it go unnoticed.
While the gaggle are squabbling and yelling about flag pins or whatever we just casually whip out a perfectly smoked Boston butt, toss it on a platter, and, without a word, just start walking from podium to podium serving the other candidates. If, while eating, they try to start proselytizing again, we whack them on the head with a dirty set of tongs like training a dog trying to stink between the shoulders by rolling on some rot.
Once we win in a landslide, we then equip all members of our party with a bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's, and any time other parties wish to fillibuster, they just squirt it at them while gnawing on the gristle of a buffalo wing.
Then come the vegetarian internment camps. And it all goes wrong from there :/
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